You made me cry and you don't even care
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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