break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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