tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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