he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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