she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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