Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
