drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
