Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
