Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think your dad took our porno
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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