i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
