What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
