Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
