her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
