JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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