Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
