he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
