I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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