He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
operation harelip BJ is a go
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
