thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
