I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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