so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
