I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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