If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
