Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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