So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
