walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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