Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
