people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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