Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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