So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize