I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
