So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
