Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
