if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
