Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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