I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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