Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
