I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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