a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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