im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
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