I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
