I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
