Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
