I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
