hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize