Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize