i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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