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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
there's paper in my vomit.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
