even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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