Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
