Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
