My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
