Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
