Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
