I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize