Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
