it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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