I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize