I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
