Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
