I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My dick has a subreddit
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
