Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
