I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
