Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
